Encounters Of The Creepy Kind
by Ratt9
Summary: Because, as it turns out, not even Kira is safe from the perverted old men who hang around outside of porn shops. Oneshot.


Porn was the absolute last thing on Light's mind as he walked with strained self-control home from his college orientation.

Hideki Ryuga, that fucking _bastard_, pulling a stunt like _that _in the middle of the _goddamn ceremony_! One day, he would definitely pay for his actions, his outright _defiance_—but for now, Light was absolutely _seething_, desperate to reach the safe confines of his bedroom so that he could properly deal with this new situation.

With frustrations that rose with each crawling second, and with Ryuk incessantly laughing his _god-awful fucking hideously annoying _laugh from behind him, Light was dangerously close to losing his careful hold over himself completely.

_Stay calm, stay calm…_ repeated the part of Light's mind that felt no emotion. Not for the first time in his life, Light felt an unimaginable gratitude toward his logic's unfailing ability to maintain a louder voice than that of his emotions whenever the two were at war. Logic's calm but powerful aloofness had certainly saved his ass more than his emotions ever had.

With those reassuring thoughts in mind, Light could feel his sense of control returning to him, little by little, until the urge to scream had almost died out completely.

Unnoticed, he passed by the porn store he had gone to during the time L was watching him on surveillance.

Light mentally smirked as he began to think of his revenge. L would rue the day he ever decided to mess with—

Light was broken out of his thoughts by the unfamiliar sensation of a hand resting upon his shoulder. Confusion overtook him as he saw that there was, sure enough, a rather hairy, wrinkle-infested hand touching his crisp, clean clothes.

"Uhh…"

"Hey, I recognize you," said a voice, sounding rather rough with age. "You're that kid who bought a few porn magazines here not too long ago."

Light blinked, focusing his eyes until they were met with the equally hairy face of a rather old-looking man. Not only did the man give off an impression of creepiness, but Light had no idea how respond to his statement. Light had never been in a situation like this before.

Luckily, a response wasn't necessary, as the man just kept on talking. "The reason I'm stopping you, kid, is because I was thinking about buying that same issue, if I heard it was any good. So, is it worth it?"

Light, still stunned into silence, stared at the old man as he chuckled, "I'm just fooling with you, kid. But what I really wanna know, what I'd really _love _to know, is which ones you masturbate to. Y'know, here's the deal. If you tell me which ones _you _masturbate to, I'll tell you which ones _I _masturbate to. And then we can trade magazines."

And suddenly, Light became more aware of the hand resting on his shoulder than he had of anything else in his entire life. Heart pounding rapidly, he managed a, "No, thanks," and tried to pull away.

To Light's panic, the man refused to let him go. The guy apparently had very strong hands for his age.

When he began tenderly stroking Light's hair, Light's desperation reached a peak of new intensity, and after what seemed like much too long, he was able to shove the old man away from him.

Light all but ran, his entire body trembling. He felt disgusting and grimy, wishing he could scrub clean that entire memory from his mind. Paranoia clinging to his flesh, he found himself whirling in all directions every few minutes to make sure he wasn't be followed.

Light went home and screamed until his lungs screamed louder, drowning his own voice out with silence.

Eh, this wasn't very well-written by any stretch of the imagination, but with this, I wasn't really trying for anything spectacular. I wrote this mainly because I kind of liked the idea and needed some way to pass the time, so voila. Even if the writing quality is a bit rough, I hope you still enjoyed! Please review~

V  
><span>See, it's this magical button down here.<span>

Thank you for reading!

~Ratt Kazamata, 1-12-2012


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